bumalik na naman ako sa pagiging smallville freak. haha. hindi ako natulog kasi hinintay kong matapos yung pagdownload sa torrent ng s08e06. grabe. ilang bese na akong humiga, pero may something na pumipilit sakin na bumangon at tingnan kung ilang percent na. my fan self. so i had to find ways to spend my time... habang hinihintay ko matapos [as of now 97.8% na siya].. halimbawa na nga ay ang blog entry na ito. ayoko naaaaaaaaaaaa. bangag na ako. haha.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
haha. tawa na lang.
it's been so long since i have posted a "serious" blog entry.. i always seem to say this everytime i blog because most of my entries are just MCR-related.
so yesterday, i've been to a point where i had to tell myself to stop crying, but i couldn't. after that really unfortunate event, i went home with my blockmate mae. i kept on ranting about how i could have had this grade, because i really prepared for the finals. i even practiced explaining, in front of the mirror, so that i know how i look and that i would look "intelligent". i deprived myself of sleep, i stopped playing SIMS 2, i went to study groups, all for the reason that i was so determined to give the philo finals my best shot. after all, it was the only time i took the subject seriously. not once did i curse that subject, i even thought of dropping it. the point is, i felt soooooo bad. i was irritated, disappointed, really pissed off. i had to hide it until i got home. i didn't want my classmates to see me cry just because of that. i went straightly to my room, locked the door and cried. for the loss of a more descriptive word, i have to say "humagulgol ako". i couldn't tell the whole story because some people haven't taken the finals, yet.
like i have said during our last meeting in philo, you only have yourself to blame each and every time you fail. also, one of the things i have learned from MCR is that someday, i'm gonna be alone, having only myself to lean on.. so i would have to learn how to be less dependent. i shouldn't have depended on the list of topics given by my classmates, it was INCOMPLETE. i guess you already have a hint why i didn't get i grade i prepared for.
i have this tendency to blame myself every single time i have a misfortune.. like if i lost something that is really important to me, or i missed my favorite show, or when things are going so bad i would just want the ground to open and swallow me whole. i always believe that God is punishing me because of my "sins", so He sends the air of misfortune to topple down the house of cards that i built. last night, i looked deeper into myself to see what "sin" might have caused my misfortune and i realized that i have a lot to be punished for. it was a kind of relief because at least i have made up an answer to the question "why?"..why all these things are happening to me. simply put, i believe in karma.. and it wasn't enough to console me.. so this blog entry comes in.
see? i'm even incoherent. maybe i'm still feeling bad. i just hope that what happened to me woudn't happen to any other person. my last piece of advice would be:
STUDY EVERYTHING. specially those topics not included in the pointers for review.
*nosebleed* grabe, english yun ah.:))
so yesterday, i've been to a point where i had to tell myself to stop crying, but i couldn't. after that really unfortunate event, i went home with my blockmate mae. i kept on ranting about how i could have had this grade, because i really prepared for the finals. i even practiced explaining, in front of the mirror, so that i know how i look and that i would look "intelligent". i deprived myself of sleep, i stopped playing SIMS 2, i went to study groups, all for the reason that i was so determined to give the philo finals my best shot. after all, it was the only time i took the subject seriously. not once did i curse that subject, i even thought of dropping it. the point is, i felt soooooo bad. i was irritated, disappointed, really pissed off. i had to hide it until i got home. i didn't want my classmates to see me cry just because of that. i went straightly to my room, locked the door and cried. for the loss of a more descriptive word, i have to say "humagulgol ako". i couldn't tell the whole story because some people haven't taken the finals, yet.
like i have said during our last meeting in philo, you only have yourself to blame each and every time you fail. also, one of the things i have learned from MCR is that someday, i'm gonna be alone, having only myself to lean on.. so i would have to learn how to be less dependent. i shouldn't have depended on the list of topics given by my classmates, it was INCOMPLETE. i guess you already have a hint why i didn't get i grade i prepared for.
i have this tendency to blame myself every single time i have a misfortune.. like if i lost something that is really important to me, or i missed my favorite show, or when things are going so bad i would just want the ground to open and swallow me whole. i always believe that God is punishing me because of my "sins", so He sends the air of misfortune to topple down the house of cards that i built. last night, i looked deeper into myself to see what "sin" might have caused my misfortune and i realized that i have a lot to be punished for. it was a kind of relief because at least i have made up an answer to the question "why?"..why all these things are happening to me. simply put, i believe in karma.. and it wasn't enough to console me.. so this blog entry comes in.
see? i'm even incoherent. maybe i'm still feeling bad. i just hope that what happened to me woudn't happen to any other person. my last piece of advice would be:
STUDY EVERYTHING. specially those topics not included in the pointers for review.
*nosebleed* grabe, english yun ah.:))
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